Little things about me.

      I realized today that I have never shared a very significant part of my life with me readers. I am talking about my love for babies, not only that but my desire to become a midwife. I have always wanted to go into the medical field, but never really knew what area. I knew that I couldn't handle working in a hospital (because of the history I've had with hospitals) but I did know that God was calling me to some how work in a medical position. On top of that I also knew that God was calling me to the mission field. So what better thing to bring to a foreign country that midwifery?

And that was when I started to look in to the ways of becoming a midwife and also going to births to really find out if this was meant for me. So far I have only been to two births, but both have reaffirmed to me that this is where God is calling me.

In February I was able to witness the birth of my little sister. My Mom had her at home at 43 years old  with a 15 year break between her last pregnancies and this one. Many people thought she was crazy, and many people agreed that she could do it. And she did, I now have a perfectly healthy little two and a half month old sister with no problems. 

If Mom had gone to the hospital they would have done a C-section. But we know that there was never a need for that. Woman have had healthy pregnancies and births for centuries. This is what I want to continue. Hopefully in 5 years I will be practicing as a midwifes assistant and then hopefully work as a full fledged midwife. And who knows....maybe I will be practicing in Africa someday with woman that really need my help. 

   I really love babies and I love helping woman give birth. But most of all I love think as I watch the miracle of birth "Thank God that this baby wasn't aborted". So I will not only be working as a midwife but also I am going to be active in stopping the abortion of children.  What's your calling?
  

Don't judge me.

Today I was convicted. Why? How? My Pastor preached on Romans 2. And mainly on judging and being judged. Have you ever sat back and asked youself how much you really judge people? I have and did this morning. The worst thing is that I was doing it right in the middle of service. And then I heard the sermon. Even though I don't act in the sin I was judging I was acting worse. Pride is already and issue in my life but today it was worse. I thought that my influence on someones life would make them change. I wasn't giving the relatonship to God, and lettng him act in this friends life. I thought I had all the answers and was far better than this person. I was so decieved.

  In Romans 2 it says this:
   "You, therefore, have no excuse, you who pass judgment on someone else, for at whatever point you judge another, you are condemning yourself, because you who pass judgment do the same things. Now we know that God’s judgment against those who do such things is based on truth. So when you, a mere human being, pass judgment on them and yet do the same things, do you think you will escape God’s judgment? Or do you show contempt for the riches of his kindness, forbearance and patience, not realizing that God’s kindness is intended to lead you to repentance?"

Could it get any clearer? So, what have I learned today? I have learned and have been convicted of the fact that I am nothing without Christ, that He is the judge of sinners and I am not and that I am no better than that missguided sinner in church today. I am a missguided sinner.

Caught up in too much.

       Yesterday I finished my last debate tournament of the year. It was a bitter sweet moment when I walked out of the awards ceremony. I was happy, but felt like I hadn't given it everything I could have. After every award ceremony I am tired and emotionally drained but it was worse last night because it was the last of the year. I came home a wreck! Then I opened my bible and read these verses. 


 "Why do you complain, Jacob?
   Why do you say, Israel,
“My way is hidden from the LORD;
   my cause is disregarded by my God”?
 Do you not know?
   Have you not heard?
The LORD is the everlasting God,
   the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
   and his understanding no one can fathom.
 He gives strength to the weary
   and increases the power of the weak.
 Even youths grow tired and weary,
   and young men stumble and fall;
 but those who hope in the LORD
   will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
   they will run and not grow weary,
   they will walk and not be faint."
~Isaiah 40:27-31


"Even if I should choose to boast, I would not be a fool, because I would be speaking the truth. But I refrain, so no one will think more of me than is warranted by what I do or say,  or because of these surpassingly great revelations. Therefore, in order to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me.  But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.  That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong."
2 Cor 12: 6-10


I am always amazed at how God's word refreshes me and puts me back on track. 

It's a crazy but wonderful life.

I am the type of girl that doesn't care about getting dirty.
I am the type of girl that debates and knows my mind.
I am the type of girl that will stand close to my friends.
I am the type of girl that doesn't like her brownies with her ice cream.
I am the type of girl that reads Alexandre Dumas and then reads Nicholas Sparks.
I am the type of girl that listens to anything from Journey to Usher and then to Steven Curtis Chapman.
I am the kind of girl that would much rather wear pants than a skirt.
I am the kind of girl that would much rather go shoot guns and ride an ATV than go to a dance.

I am the kind of girl that loves to dress up when the occasion comes.
I am the kind of girl that loves baseball better than any sport.

Thats just who I am.

Don't live with regrets.

    I have been reminded lately of how special life is and that we should never take it for granite. A woman down the street from us lost her Husband on Wednesday to Cancer. It reminded me of the regrets I live with everyday and how much I wish I could change it.
    My word of  wisdom for the day is live your life in the moment. Make sure that the decisions you make will never make you regret. Life is to precious for broken relationships and strife. Make sure the people around you know that you love them. Take every spare minute and spend with with your family and friends.
    I have had to go through regret and hurt, all because I didn't realize how precious life really is. Make this day the start of a life with out regrets.
     Take it from someone who knows. Don't miss out on the moments that matter the most. 

A day in the life...

Impacts

    Have you ever had one family that impacts you in so many ways you can't count them?  I have one family in my life like that. They have made so many things possible for me that I would have never been able to do. You may know who I am talking about and you may not know, to me I think they are under rated. The Kjeldgaards are a testimony to me that anything is possible.
   Many of you don't know that without them I wouldn't be able to compete in Speech and Debate. Three years ago they decided to use one of their annual carnivals to raise a school fund for my siblings and me. Without this fund I wouldn't be doing the things I am doing now. The experiences I have been given I will never forget. And I will always be grateful to them for this.
  The other thing I am really blessed by is the wonderful friendships I have with them. Their two oldest kids and I have been friends for years and our friendships just keep getting stronger. It is a huge blessing. They are apart of the reason that I am so grounded in what I believe.
   Another way they have impacted me is how they have stood by me and encouraged me but also exhorted me to be a stronger christian and to give it all to God. I know that I can always talk to them about problems and issues I need help with.
   Every single Kjeldgaard has impacted me in so many ways. I am so blessed to have them in my life.

  

New friendships....old reasons.

     I love meeting new people especially when it just clicks and you know you will be friends with them for the rest of your life. I have had that experience recently. God has blessed me beyond measure by bringing two amazing Godly girls into my life. The beautiful thing is that all of us were looking for friendship that would have God in the center and we found it in each other. We realized too that we all had the same ideas and reasons for wanting a relationship like that. I am truly blessed in these friendships that are founded in God and His  word. I know that they are not afraid to tell me when I am doing things wrong or to encourage me...or even to help write a text. Friends are the most amazing blessing.

"Just as lotions and fragrance give sensual delight, a sweet friendship refreshes the soul." ~Proverbs 27:9


"The righteous should choose his friends carefully, For the way of the wicked leads them astray." Pro 12:26


Godly friends that keep me on track is so important to me. I am looking forward to the friends I make in the
 future that help in this way too. And I am so excited to continue all of the wonderful friendships I have now for
 the rest of my life. 

Never let go

Can you lay your life down, so a stranger can live?
Can you take what you need but take less than you give?
Could you close everyday without the glory and fame?
Could you hold your head high when no one knows your name?
That's how legends are made, at least that's what they say

We say goodbye but never let go
We live, we die 'cause you can't save every soul
Gotta take every chance to show that you're the kinda man
Who will never look back, never look down and never let go


(Never let go, Brian Adams)


This song reminds me of the men that serve everyday to protect our freedom. I am so proud of the service my Brothers, Dad, and Grandfathers have given this country. Please keep the men of our military in your prayers. Remember that they are the reason you live everday in freedom. 

It is amazing how words hurt and how they can really harm a relationship. I have been reminded of this through out the past few weeks. It is hard to deal with, especially if you are constantly around it. I have found it clear in the bible about how to deal with it. If you are dealing with the same problem just remember these verse....


Eph 4:29~Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers


Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them. Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. Live in harmony with one another.Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly. Never be wise in your own sight.
~Romans 12:14-16

Living Laughing and loving my life away!

Is there really any other better way to live your life then spending it living it to the fullest, laughing every time you can, and loving the people around you? I can't think of any. I am so blessed with the people in my life. at every turn I am encouraged and edified by this life God has given me. I wouldn't want to live it any other way. 

Make some noise with silence!

Hey everyone!!!
  Okay....so I really want everyone to join me on Oct 18th. Heres how it works, get some red tape write the word 'LIFE' on it. Then when your done take that piece of tape and wear it over your mouth for the whole day of Oct 18th. Not speaking for a day is a small thing to give up with a big impact. Take pictures and show the world that you are not afraid to show how you feel.

Why should you do this? Check it out in this link....
http://www.silentday.org/

Now go be brave!!!

I love the reminder this song gives me. =D


We are a moment, You are forever
Lord of the Ages, God before time
We are a vapor, You are eternal
Love everlasting, reigning on high

Holy, holy, Lord God Almighty
Worthy is the Lamb Who was slain
Highest praises, honor and glory
Be unto Your name, be unto Your name

We are the broken, You are the healer
Jesus, Redeemer, Mighty to save
You are the love song we'll sing forever
Bowing before You, blessing Your name 

Yet another this....and another that.

   Have you ever had moment in your life where you suddenly realize that you have too many things to do? I do constantly! In fact these past few weeks have really made me realize that. I have been to a wedding and two debate tournaments within the past sixteen days....I am really burnt out. In fact I am sitting here at 7 in the morning writing this before I leave to finish off the last day of a tournament.

   But the one thing I have realized through all of this is that I learn to appreciate people more when I have less time with them.

   So that's my quick note for the day. =D

Buzzing...

   It is truly amazing how you can get to know about people and who they are when you look at their buzz or facebook posts. I can only imagine what people think of me when they read my posts. And over the past years I have changed so much to the point that I think many people are surprised at what they see. 


   This post is for people who don't see me all the time, and who don't get to ask me questions about what I do.  This isn't a post to justify what I do. I am not always right, in fact I am mostly wrong.  I know that many people look at me and say that I am "going to the deep end". If we are taking about a pool of God's grace, then I am going to go as deep as I can. 


   The things I write can be summed up in this quote: "Everything we do is a choice. Oatmeal or cereal. Highway or side streets. Kiss her or keep her. We make choices and we live with the consequences. If someone gets hurt along the way we ask for forgiveness. It's the best anyone can do". -Ned
  
  I don't always make the right choice, but I live with my choices. Life isn't about being perfect in every way. It is about doing all that you do to the glory of God. You will never succeed if you try to be always perfect. But you can unconditionally love all those you come in contact with, like Christ does for us. You can cherish the things that you have, knowing that they are all gifts of God. And you can try and live without regrets. But most of all you should live your life by the bible. This is what I try to do. 


   Maybe I shouldn't post everything I do post. But there are many things on Buzz I don't regret posting, because sometimes people just need to hear it. 

Verse of the day.

For though I might desire to boast, I will not be a fool; for I will speak the truth. But I refrain, lest anyone should think of me above what he sees me to be or hears from me.

And lest I should be exalted above measure by the abundance of the revelations, a thorn in the flesh was given to me, a messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I be exalted above measure.

Concerning this thing I pleaded with the Lord three times that it might depart from me.

And He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness." Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ's sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

~2 Corinthians 12:6-10

When a photo doesn't need words to explain it...

...Thus the name.

    A beautiful mess. I don't think I have ever explained the name of my blog until a few minutes ago when I explained it to a friend. So I guess now is a good time to explain it.
   When I started to think of a blog name I wanted something that described my life. And lets be frank I have a messy life...emotionally and physically. But if you read my last post you'll know that I believe life is beautiful even when it's not perfect. My life is a beautiful mess that God put together, and this blog is to celebrate beautiful messes.    

Happythankyoumoreplease

"The secret is to say thank you"


"Your a mess, I'm a mess too."


 The trailer for Happythankyoumoreplease (this isn't a christian movie, so please be careful when you watch it)....is one of those things that strikes me as a beautiful story of life. Life isn't easy, it isn't a beautiful dream, and it definitley is not the perfect love story. It is a trial, it's a mountain we have to climb, but the funniest thing is that it is beautiful even when we are going through the biggest trials of our lives. It is beautiful because God made it so.  When I watched the trailer it reminded me how life really is beautiful even when it isn't perfect. 
So be happy, say thank you, and always ask for more time with people.  

Community

‘Cause I don’t want to live like I don’t care.
I don’t want to say another empty prayer.
Oh, I refuse to
Sit around and wait for someone else
To do what God has called me to do myself.
Oh, I could choose
Not to move but I refuse.


To stand and watch
The weary and lost
Cry out for help.
I refuse
To turn my back
And try and act like all is well.
I refuse
To stay unchanged,
To wait another day,
To die to myself.
I refuse
To make one more excuse. 
   This song is almost like a mission statement for me. It talks about things I want to refuse to. It talks about areas I need to change in. And it is a song that challenges me. 
  This song reminds me of the word community. What it means to me and what it should be to everyone. Community has been something I have thought about often in the last few weeks. To be fully truthful, I am saddened by how little my generation spends working to share the gospel in our separate communities. When my Dad died he left a beautiful legacy in our church. A legacy that showed me what it means to be active in our community. Because of Dad I have spent countless hours in retirement homes with elderly lonely people that need to be loved. I spent many Thanksgiving mornings dropping off meals for families that couldn't afford a turkey and side dishes. And because of Dad I learned what it meant to serve the church. It was a lesson that constantly reminds me that I need to be more of a servant and less selfish. 
   My Dad loved to work with a special organization that works in the central valley community to help provide for the needs of this community. And after he died they asked to talk about Dad on their air show. You can listen to that specific show here... http://lighthouselive.blogspot.com/2008/03/avc-servant-hearts.html
   There are so many areas of our communities that need us. Salvation army always can use help with providing for the homeless. This is an organization that is good to help because the people that they provide for are required to hear the word of God. If you have an advancing vibrant communities type of organization be active in that too! Think hard about ways you can provide for your community and how you can spread the gospel. Another great thing to be active in is helping your local Crisis pregnancy center and picketing your local planned parenthood. 
   Don't sit and read this and in the end go and never give this a second thought. God calls us to love our neighbors. So go out and "Just do it!" I am going to go out and live the legacy my father left. Come live that legacy with me. 

A new year....again.

      If you know me very well you will know that I am a spoil sport when it come to New Years, I am never really excited when it roles around. I know...it's crazy right!?! But it is the thought of a new year filled with pain and problems that I get caught up in. I get myself depressed because I don't want to face the challenges to come. This is a sad thing to admit as a Christian. I should be joyful at the thought of another year filled with ministry and edification, but most of all...time spent with the lord.
     This is why I have made it my goal to make this year about God and His plans in my life. I'm going to try and not let myself get distracted by the world and it's pleasures.
     It's not a new plan for me....but I am trying harder. Esspecially after the year that I just failed.